To the moon and back… Remember??

I remember how they pointed “look how he looks at you”

And how I hid my face which just got blush red behind an eye roll.

And how it gave me chills to be addressed as your girl.

And how I wanted to flaunt us to the world.

How I wanted to quit the ride just to walk with you few more miles, while I hold your hand tight.

Inside the view, besides you I wanted the night to be quite and the moon to be full and bright,

so that I can enjoy the harmony of my racing heartbeat and your whisper

and surprisingly, it never felt mushy when we dreamt of being mistress and mister.

Oh dear god! How just one look of yours was able to make me melt

and how just one touch of yours was the only thing I demanded to be felt.

I lost the train of my thoughts as my heart flickered at the call of my name.

I looked for you, looked longer and longer for you.

No it ain’t being paranoid.

You can see it too, yet unsee.

Our silence among our chaos speaks louder than we can bear.

Where did we go wrong?

What was that bug that attacked and loosened our bond so strong?

I don’t know who should I blame?

Will you ever look at me like you do in the picture in that frame?

Where are we going from here?

If not towards the end where are we going from here?

-A wallflower 🌼

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Odd girl out! 

An oddball, a loner, recluse, asocial and what not.

A piece of puzzle that just doesn’t fit.

More like Mogli between humans.

Seized with cynicism and scepticism

But come along,

Come along If you want to be strange

Come be strange together but alone

Wander alone, shop alone, eat alone, live alone, die alone.

Where being your true self is the only norm.

Let’s stand on the left sife of the margin line

Let’s find the depth of our mind

Coz’ you my dear are a rare find.
-A wallflower 🌼

I have always been different from others. My thoughts, my lifestyle, my likes and dislikes everything has always been different like I like spending time alone. I like treating myself. I like going out for a dinner with just myself. I like going on a trip alone and I just don’t feel lonely and there are many things. I get a lot of judgements for my choices since they don’t understand that but it hardly matters. I am an individual and as long as my choices, my decisions and my doings are not hurting anyone I am not doing anything wrong and I am not at all guilty about that.

I know many people who are a bit different from others get scared to come out publicly as who they are. So chill out people. Nobody’s going to come at your funeral to lessen your regret of not living your life the way you wanted to. Life is too short to not do what you really love doing.

Keep smiling, keep learning, keep growing amd keep spreading love.

“Being human”… Really? Are we? 

A country which was once home for millions. 

Where the sky was blue and the fields were green. 

Where little Sayeda ran past fondling lilies. 

Until someone gatecrashed… 

Someone with a conspiracy, 

Conspiracy of sabotaging, 

Someone who came with guns, bullets and bombs. 

Distraught Sayeda ran… Ran to save her life. 

She put her hands in her ear to stop the screeching cries of her loved ones. 

She ran till the end of the world but all she could spot was green field turning into red. 

She lied there with shattered hope, 
Cursing the filthy souls

Up there was the sky witnessing humanity getting butchered. 

At that very moment, she gathered all her voice for the utter cry of her wretchedness will reach to the four corners of the Earth 

and the stories of their barbarity would be carved from the blood of those who are innocent. 

Who died probably wondering “Is that what a home looks like?” 

-A wallflower 🌼 

I just can’t say anything about what’s happening in Syria. I am speechless and in shock. May god give hearts to those who are destroying my faith in humanity. 

Share your thoughts. Raise your voices. Let’s protest peacefully through our words. 

Discretion of words…

Draw me as you see me

Paint my moods in blue, 

My soul as black and white and

Choose the whole new shade of grey for my chaos. 

Do not forget to draw the scars that my heart holds as they all have a story to tell. 

Make my skin as dark as possible 

I may not be considered as pretty but it’ll make your art revolutionary. 

Make a background of my delusions, daydreams and nightmares too. 

Draw everything, just spare my words as only I choose which truth needs to be exposed in bold or in italics or in cursive.

-A wallflower 🌼 
It’s all about the perception. How I see myself, how you see me. May be what’s beautiful in my opinion probably you don’t find it so and it’s ok it’s normal you’re allowed to. Chuck all the beauty standards. Let’s make our own definition of beauty. 

Tell me what you find beautiful. It may be a place, a person or a feeling or anything ❤️. 

My moment… 


Towards the midnight blue, 

Leafless Dusky trees, 

In a deepening deafening silence 

Stiryness in the wind, 

Stillness in the view

That’s my moment… 

Moment of peace,

Moment of eternity… 

Full of me, my choices and my twisted poetry!
-A wallflower 🌼 

Moments where we feel content are the moments we live for. That was my moment. Share yours. 

Sunshine blogger award #1

Wuhuuu! I am almost completing an year since I became the small part of this blogging fam. It may sound cliché but writing is the only calm to all the chaos that revolves around my head. Though for some reasons I wasn’t writing here but I was reading as much as I could in that busy schedule. I can not thank enough to all my readers for being there, supporting me, constantly motivating me and for appreciating my work. Being busy is not an excuse I know it must be disappointing for you all but I am heartly apologetic and I promise to write actively here. 

Well, even after not being much active here getting nominated for Sunshine Blogger Award”  is such an awe-inspiring thing. A commodious thanks to dear Shayra for being so gracious. Please do visit her blog. She is fabulous and such a sweetheart. 

The Sunshine Blogger Award is awarded  to those who are creative, positive and inspiring while spreading sunshine to the Blogging Community..!🌞

The Rules..!!

Write a post thanking to the person who nominated you and provide a link back to their blogging sites!
Answer the 11 questions asked to you by the person who nominated you.
Nominate 11 new bloggers and write them 11 new questions!
List the Rules and display the Sunshine Blogger Award logo on your site or in your post.

My Answers to her questions:

1. What’s your favorite hobby?

Ans. Writing is my love so I guess reading is my favourite hobby. 

2. Have you ever fought with your best friend?

Ans. Haha! Always. 

3. Any experience when you let your parents down.

Ans. Sadly yes! Once. 

4. What will you choose ,a book of wisdom or a bag of gold?

Ans. Book of wisdom. Even if I could have both I wouldn’t have taken the gold. 

5. What’s your favorite Hollywood movie?

Ans. Pursuit of happyness ❤ 

6. Which is your favorite music band?

Ans. Bands aren’t my favourite songs are. Some songs of every band I guess.  

7. Would you like to be a space traveler?

Ans. Why not? 

8. When do you think the world would end?

Ans. I think it won’t take much time as our cities are highly polluted, we are ignorant about our natural resources and man made resources as well, rich people are getting richer and poor poorer. There are many things which needs our attention for a better world otherwise it’s all going to end eventually. 

9. What would you do if you are elected as a world leader for one day?

Ans. I would try to solve or at least aware people about the problems I have stated above in question 8th.

10. Can you control your anger?

Ans. No I can’t and even if I could I would not control any of my emotions. Controlling or keeping it inside makes our soul heavy… Though I don’t react while I am angry I just stay alone for sometime, distract myself or just calm myself down  but I never control. 

11. What are your life goals?

Ans. I just want to stand on my own. Give my parents all the happiness of this world, there are many things I want to learn, try some adventure sports and travel the world “alone”. 

My Nominees are :-

1). Prakash Hegade

2). Oldsoulwrites

3). Hecblogger

4). Colours of my life 

5). Lavanya 

6). Vinayak Gupta

7). Shardhha 1993

8). Simple ula

9). Khushboo dixit

10). Thelonelyauthorblog

11). ANKIT VERMA

My questions are same for you. Lot’s of love… 

Being me! 

Dive a little deeper in my mind

To find, the thoughts almost like a thunder

Reasons for all my created blunders… 

Seldom I try to whisper, to murmur 

But the words gets cemented in my throat.

 
Solitude is my comfort.

Few minutes of interactions, then

Towards seclusion I deviate

I alienate, I isolate.
Planning something for the weekend? Duh.

In the midst of most darkest nights

While the world sleeps

Blanket burrito is all I would like.

 

Fenced by an opaque vacuum 

Like a hard shell

I harbor myself.

Thick cave is that where I dwell.

 
I always was a little less vocal. 

Constantly being called as “antisocial”

Always ready to have your say

And can listen all day!

 

Unvarying overthinking, over analysing, observing and absorbing

Darkens the dark circle

Blemishes the face as a whole

But enriches the soul.

 
Introvertism at it’s best

Sense of freedom,

a cup of coffee, 

Alone, inside my nest. 

Prisoners! 

Phewww!!! 

Long time. It has been a long time since I wrote something here. I never stopped writing though. I had few topics in my mind and I tried, yes! I tried my best to get my thoughts on paper but it didn’t happen. I left all those ideas in the middle of nowhere. I wrote few lines and then went blank. 

My thoughts were too scattered to bind them together and make a link to create something. My brain became something like the sky with the darkest shade of black in which my thoughts were scattered like stars. Some tiny, some huge, some beautiful, some horrifying, difficult to understand, tangled… 

After several repetitions of writing, getting disappointed by myself and then deleting the whole thing I felt worthless. I thought of giving up. Sounds scary to a writer. Isn’t it? It’s like losing powers. For someone who knows only one way of expressing it’s a disaster.

Nonetheless, I feel sometimes it’s okay in fact it’s good to actually and literally feel your one of the nightmares. It helps you. It brings out that volition to try, try harder, fight with all those cobblestones and get through it. It makes you dauntless.

All those words of appreciation which I got for my work earlier and in fact still getting kept me motivated always and now I feel I have came halfway through it still a long way to go.More power to all those artists who felt powerless at some point. 

Kindly drop your kind words of encouragement or share your own stories of getting out of mental prisons if you have any. 

First crush! 

While decluttering the mess in my shelf I found something which took me down in the lanes of memories when I was about to enter into one of the most important phases of life that is called “teenage” life. Teenage is all about first(s). First crush, first love, first trip with friends and so many things. For me it was also about writing my first poem ever. I thought of sharing it here. It’s about First crush. 
I was walking around you

Coz’ I wanted to be noticed by you, 

I saw you passed by my table in canteen 

But I didn’t want you to know. 

I am so very keen

About who you are and why are you coming in my dreams?

You’ve affected my heart and my soul

But still I am bewildered 

Will you accept my love without any jhol. 

However, I am loving this feeling of mine

It’s better than anyone can feel

After drinking a bottle of wine! 

I don’t want to start our conversation first

Coz’ my friend says, in expressing my feelings I am the worst. 

Every time I look at you

I feel like screaming everything I feel about you

But what if… 

… If it’s a no 

And somewhere deep inside in my heart

There is a hidden fear of losing you my sweetheart… 

Well it seems like rhyming is the only key to write poems that’s what I thought back then but still this is going to be close to my heart forever. 

Share your own first creations with me too and story behind that if there’s any.

That cruel black dog!

Famously, Winston Churchill referred to his depression as  “the black dog.” I find this irrelevant. Though, I am not fond of dogs still I don’t appreciate this metaphor. Dogs are loyal and human’s best buddies whilst the depression blues are the worst companions.

People who are dealing with depression or have dealt with it before are the optimists even if they don’t feel like one, they are. They smile when all they need is a shoulder to cry on. They keep mum when all they should be doing is howl. They stand strong when they have all the reasons to fall apart because even after so many things going on they still see a tiny tweety ray of hope which tells them that this phase will also pass. 

here you can see some experiences of people having this “black dog” 

There comes a point in this phase when it feels useless to fight. When you sit alone and curse yourself for being alive. When the world becomes the most difficult place to be. When melancholy sows it’s seeds. When breathing becomes a battle. When night starts to haunt. When your screams becomes silent and mind loud. When your insecurities starts eating you alive. When the feeling of hopelessness and worthlessness spread their wings. When your wrist becomes a canvas and blade brushes. When you have been strong for too long. When you have all the reasons to kill this demon. 

That’s when you need to gather up all the courage one last time, take a deep breath, let the fire inside you burn brighter because that will show you the path. The secret of getting ahead is getting started. Don’t be afraid of standing alone, don’t be afraid of being afraid. I know everyday is a war. I know the pain is real. I know enduring is hard. Hug it out. Sleep it out. Cry it out but know you don’t need to be hard on yourself. You are enough and it’s okay. 

Do whatever it takes to make you feel alright again. It’s okay to walk alone. It’s okay to seek help. Be brave enough to ask for it. You are not alone. 

I was told that smiling makes it a little better. They were right. 

there are sites which provides experts online where you can chat with the counsellors and also hide your identity if you want to. 

The best thing about depression is it’s not permanent and it’s always worth fighting for yourself. 

For those who are going through this phase comment below if you want to talk about it. For those who wants to help just learn to listen without judging. 

Let me know what you think about this in the comment section.